Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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