Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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