sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
