So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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