North Korea, Best Korea!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just want to make out with him forever
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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