We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize