Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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