so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
