Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
