But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
