I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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