So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
