He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
