oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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