At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
These tits shall not be calmed
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
