Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
