dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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