Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
