i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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