I got chris browned last night
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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