My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Randomize
