There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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