Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
