Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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