Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
