i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
