Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
