i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
