The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
