I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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