Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
