I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
