I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
