I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
