you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
