I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
