thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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