Apparently you make a good broom.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
