hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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