What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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