Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
