the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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