Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
