its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize