So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yo dont text me then not text me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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