Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fuck appropriateness.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
