people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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