"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
