Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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