SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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