CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
