I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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