It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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