Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
