Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
