Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
