You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I could fuck to npr.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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