I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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