In America we eat man semen.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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