Nicole vs. Life
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
