why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
