youre lurking in front of me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
