i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
