I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
