i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
