Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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