I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
