Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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