she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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