I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
