I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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