Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
