the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize