before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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