I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The adults are the big ones right?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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