I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
