you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
